So Much For Happiness...

The Fair was not what I wanted this year... I got dumped and spent two nights in White Bird medical detoxing from all the crap I put into my body to dull the pain and heartache away. I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it this time... I'm in a very dark place that I see no way out of. I couldn't handle another breakup, that's why I made DAMN sure that Phoenix was the right guy for me before I agreed to anything... And yet he's not. He wants to be a child and enjoy childish indulgences; he wants to avoid the responsibilities that a family could bring for as long as possible. I want to be an adult; I want to settle down and have the white picket fence, the pets, and the 2.4 children... And yet as all the drugs I was on at the time wear off, his reasons for dumping me change. Now he speaks of me needing self-growth, becoming more self-reliant, that maybe it'll work out once I get my own shit together... But he broke my heart and he will not get another chance to hold this starlight in his hand; he cast it aside and it will never return to him.