Post-Christmas Rundown

I spent my Christmas weekend out at my dad's house. His parents live in the same town now, and his brother's family was up to visit. I got to spend plenty of time with them over the few days I was up there. I baked cookies at my grandma's with one of my cousins; unlike the children I work with, she did not try to fling anything in the kitchen at my head, lol.
Before I left, I opened my presents from my mom and sister. My sister gave me a framed photo of her family, which is now on my livingroom bookcase with my other photos. My mom had already had me go out shopping for a new microwave:
I also got new frying pans and other kitchen gear from her. I got money from grandparents and my uncle and aunt; I'm setting it aside for a 3DS when it comes out in March. My dad is going to get me a new futon mattress for my bed; the futon place was closed this weekend, so we'll be picking it up on Thursday after work.

Late at night on Christmas, I spent a while chatting online with a friend of mine; apparently said friend is very interested in me, and I hadn't really noticed this on my own - it had to be pointed out quite bluntly. I'm not sure how I feel in return (I really hadn't thought much about him and I), but I certainly appreciate someone thinking I'm awesome. Hopefully he wasn't just yanking my chain (I'm kind of suspicious like that these days).

I had to come home a few hours earlier than I'd planned on. I was just getting too overwhelmed with all the family around. I kind of just needed to get home and chill out by myself. I felt myself getting grumpy, went upstairs and read for a little while, and when I came back down I was still on edge so I asked my dad if he could give me a ride back then. He was very understanding, and we left shortly after. That was yesterday afternoon, and I've been awake most of the night - I've had to play with my sleep cycle this weekend, staying up all day Thursday into the evening. I took a long nap last evening to accommodate shifting it back to night, but I'm pretty tired now. A little reading time, then I'm off to bed for the day.

Isolation

I've been spending time with friends this weekend. It's good to see people, and I know it's generally good for me to be out and social. Because of this, the time I spend by myself feels even more alone. I feel very disconnected right now, despite seeing several friends today. I'm not sure where it's coming from. There is also an unfounded fear and skepticism that those spending time with me would rather not; it's absurd, but I know I'm not exactly thinking clearly. I can rationalize that what I'm experiencing is clearly false, but I'm still experiencing it... ~sigh~ I have friends and those friends care about me; I'm just a bit out of my mind. I'm not all alone, and if I needed it there are several people who would come over just to help me feel better. My emotional and rational minds are having a disagreement.

Sleep

Why do I look so forward to sleep these days? All my time awake is just biding my time before I can sleep again. I don't really care much what happens... I want to have fun, of course, and yesterday was a really great day full of spending time with friends. And yet I still have this feeling of relief, ~sigh~ ah, I can go to sleep now. I'm just filling up empty space between comfy rests. I don't think this is a good outlook to be having, but it's what I've got right now.

"Let me fill these empty spaces,
Better late than never, stay forever.
Let me fill this empty space,
'Cause there's always room for one more mistake." - SR-71

Damage

Work last night was looooong. Not as long as my 16.5 hour shift last week, but it felt it. Got started with a bang with having to keep a kiddo up late for medical reasons. Then another munchkin woke up from a nightmare screaming, had an accident on the unit, and then freaked the hell out when I tried to get her to go into the bathroom to change.

Things could have gone so much worse at so many points last night, but I still wish it had all gone better...

Silly Cat Videos

I am going to continue the internet-old tradition of posting silly videos of my cat, seen here on the floor:




And another of my cat trying to eat the wrist strap on the camera: