Who knows me?

I came to the jarring realization tonight that only one person that I see with any regularity knows anything of my own backstory. Most of my friends have only known me a matter of months; I joined a new social circle last summer, and it's been great getting to know these folks but none of them know my history. Switch has been my friend for 9 years; we went to school together for a year, and he's met some of my family and kinda knows where I come from. He's the only one who knows much about me. My coworkers who I see throughout my 40-hour workweek have all known me less than 2 years, and I've rarely spent time with any of them outside of work.
My friends just don't know that much about me; they weren't my friends when I was younger and still developing as a person. They don't know where I'm coming from, just who I am now. No one knows why I was hospitalized back in '04, or even that it happened. No one knows why I slept alone in the backyard as a kid some nights. Who even knows what goes through my head these days, as an adult trying to get by? I can put on a smile and be a goofball, and throw a verbal jab in at a good moment now and again, but I don't really open up much. I don't think I would be quite so accepted if I let my let my guard down and showed my true colors more often. A buddy is still laughing over a jab of mine over a month ago, because I was the "sweetest person at the party", and he just couldn't believe that I'd said something sharp. Part of me is sweet, for sure; I wouldn't be working where I am if there wasn't a big part of me that wanted to help other people. Other elements of my personality are far from sweet, though. Maybe not mean, but wounded and lashing out perhaps. I don't know... I don't feel like looking more deeply at myself right now.

I've been sick all week, and it sucks. This cold is kicking my ass, and it's not even that bad, it just won't go away. I lost my voice; it's coming back now, but still cracking and rough. The cough is starting to ease up, which I take as a major good sign. Hopefully I'll be better in another couple days; sitting around my apartment is getting REALLY boring. I want to be out and about, not stuck in my living room all day (well, night) long.